Turtles

This recipe is Jené's fault. She brought these treats to Decemberloso, our Christmas party. So if you make them, love them, and eat all of them in one sitting...well, everyone would understand, but don't do it. You'll feel guilty, then angry at me, then I'll have to deflect the anger to Jené and I don't want to do that since she's nice, but it's survival of the fittest, baby.

I don't know what their actual name is, but I figure Turtles are accurate enough...except they have the pretzel. So maybe Turtles with Shells? Whatever. They're super easy and fast to make. And apparently widely popular. Rolos were sold out at a couple different stores for a couple weeks. I blame this recipe.

Prepare yourself. It's going to get complicated.

Take a bunch of pretzels and place them on a cookie sheet. Unwrap the same number of Rolos and place them on top of the pretzels. Place in a 350 degree oven for 4 minutes. Take out of the oven, place pecan halves on top and press down. Let cool and eat. Bingo! I know it's hard, but you can do it.

Bacon Chocolate. It's True.

What is one to do when they see Bacon Chocolate while in the checkout line at Whole Foods? Especially after hearing recent rumblings about bacon chocolate. The only possible, reasonable solution is to buy it. Well, to buy it and take it home and force one's roommates to try it too. That's what bonding experiences are all about: forcing people to do what they don't want to do. (Camping excluded, girls. I can see the wheels turning.) Let's edit that sentence: Forcing people to do what they don't want to do within reason. Ex: eating bacon chocolate





The results:
Sesha- not a fan
Stalena- not a fan
Amy- not the best thing I've eaten, but not the worst.

Because I'm Selfless

I have a question that is plaguing me when it comes to my cookies, so I need to do one more variation before I rest. Since I want the truest answer, I'm going to use bar chocolate, not chips. I dropped by the International Wine Center because I've heard they have some delicious chocolate. Well, they better because boy howdy is it pricey. It was definitely the most expensive chocolate I've ever purchased. And the costliest bar isn't even close to being enough for a batch of cookies.

But I wanted to try a couple to compare flavors because I'm selfless and want to provide the most accurate blog ever. It's a sacrifice I must make as a chef. To take the road of...chocolate. No need to thank me, I can feel your gratitude radiating through my computer.

Let's begin this experiment, shall we?

(Oh, and if you have Mumford & Sons, please turn on their music while you read. That's my listening music today.)

(Um, the above comment about being a chef and having the most accurate blog? Please cross those off the list. I'm neither a chef nor have the time to make 100% certain that I'm 100% accurate. Plus, I like to make things up. Shhh. Don't tell.)

(One more thing, the chocolate is not the plaguing question. I'm not going to delve into that until I run my trial.)



This was the most expensive chocolate. I had to sell a kidney. Okay, I didn't sell a kidney. But this was the moment in the store where I realized I should really set a cooking budget each month. And it wasn't obscenely expensive, it was just pricey for the amount of chocolate you get for the moolah.


It was my least favorite. I wouldn't buy it again. Sorry van Gogh. (Doesn't it look like van Gogh on the packaging? And I typed van Gosh twice before getting it right. True story.)


Second most expensive per ounce. I love the packaging because of the wax seal and there's a love poem inside!


Isn't this the cutest, loveliest chocolate ever??!!


This bar is what I'll use when I bake my cookies.


I liked this one the best. I still won't be buying it routinely. I'm not willing to pay this much when I've been happy with my Wal-Mart chocolate bar. I was happy that the cheapest one came out victorious. When I try higher quality things I get nervous. I worry that I'm going to fall in love with something that I cannot have somewhat regularly or that I will truly need to sell a kidney to have it in my life. I like my kidneys.


Here's what I've noticed about higher quality chocolate: It falls apart into layers. Because it's less waxy? Because it's a truer product? Because of the type of production? Because fate says so? I have no idea why, but it does.

Don't you feel like you learned so much from this investigative reporting? No? You don't? Well, then you should probably conduct your own research. It's imperative actually. Go on. Buy your chocolate. It's all in the name of science.

Chocolate Souffle

Have I lost my mind? Am I on drugs? Am I overestimating my powers in the kitchen? Perhaps, but by golly I'm making a souffle! (Let me state for the record, I am not on drugs. And while I might be a little...unique, I am mentally sound for all intense purposes. Thank you.) In general I'm not an adventurous person, but for whatever reason I feel bolder in the kitchen. Souffle? Ha! I laugh in the face of souffles. I found the recipe on America's Test Kitchen website. And away we go!



5 tablespoons unsalted butter (1 tablespoon softened, remaining butter cut into 1/4-inch chunks)
1/3 cup granulated sugar, plus 1 tablespoon for coating the dishes
8 ounces semi-sweet chocolate, chopped coarse
1/8 teaspoon table salt
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon orange liqueur (I didn't use this. I wasn't about to buy it for one tablespoon. Jerks.)
6 large egg yolks
8 large egg whites
1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
2 tablespoons confectioner's sugar


Let's talk about this kitchen tool for a second. It separates egg yolks and whites. It props on a glass. It's useful and you need one. I inherited mine from my mom who had two which means it probably came from my grandma. Sure, you can use your hands which makes you seem more chef-like and I actually did that today since some of the whites were thick, but this tool is useful. Merry Christmas.

Coat eight 1-cup ramekins with 1 tablespoon butter, then coat inside of dish evenly with the 1 tablespoon sugar; refrigerate until ready to use.


I love Ghiradelli chocolate. It's always my first pick.

Melt chocolate and remaining butter in medium bowl set over pan of simmering water. Turn off heat, stir in salt, vanilla, and liqueur (if using); set aside.

Bring the 1/3 cup of sugar and 2 tablespoons water to boil in small saucepan, then simmer until sugar dissolves. With mixer running, slowly add this sugar syrup to egg yolks; beat until mixture triples in volume, about 3 minutes.




This is when I realized that I didn't read my recipe correctly and added the syrup to the whites. Whoops. This is also when I wondered if I just ruined the fragile souffle recipe. I finished what was supposed to be the real steps to the egg white portion (see below) and set it aside.


I simply beat the eggs without adding anything. I have no idea what the syrup would have done to it. We'll just have to pretend.



Fold into chocolate mixture.



Clean beaters.

Beat egg whites until frothy; add cream of tartar and beat to soft peaks; add confectioners' sugar; continue beating to stiff peaks. (Mixture should just hold the weight of a raw egg in the shell when the egg is placed on top.)



Vigorously stir one-quarter of whipped whites into chocolate mixture. Gently fold remaining whites into mixture until just incorporated.



Fill each ramekin almost to rim, wiping excess filling from rim with wet paper towel. Cover and freeze until firm, at least 3 hours.



Adjust oven rack to lower middle position and heat oven to 400 degrees. Bake until fully risen, about 16 to 18 minutes. (Souffle is done when fragrant and fully risen. Use two large spoons to pull open the top and peek inside. If not yet done, place back in oven.) Serve immediately.


Look! It worked!

Guess what is tricky about making a souffle? Knowing when it's done when I've never even seen a souffle in person much less tasted one. Tricky business.

Chewy, Fudgy Triple Chocolate Brownies

I was at Barnes & Noble last week and I saw America Test Kitchen's recent magazine of top recipes. I flipped through it and made a mental list of recipes I'd like to try, but when I came to the brownie recipe I was intrigued. Now, you may remember from a recipe posting that I'm not really a brownie fan. But after that recipe, I read a post from the Pioneer Woman that discussed the difference in baking chocolate. Wondering if that was part of my disappointment, I decided to try this recipe. Guess what? It's not. I really don't prefer brownies. Period. These had a more distinct chocolate flavor, but I wasn't a fan of the texture. They were moist, but stuck to your mouth. I've decided that the next time I have to make brownies, I'm going with a box. Yup. A box. And I won't even feel bad about it.



5 ounces semisweet chocolate or bittersweet chocolate, chopped
2 ounces unsweetened chocolate , chopped
8 tablespoons unsalted butter (1 stick), cut into quarters
3 tablespoons cocoa powder
3 large eggs
1 1/4 cups granulated sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon table salt
1 cup unbleached all-purpose flour

1. Adjust oven rack to lower-middle position and heat oven to 350 degrees. Spray 8-inch square baking pan with nonstick vegetable cooking spray. Fold two 12-inch pieces of foil lengthwise so that they measure 7 inches wide. Fit one sheet in bottom of greased pan, pushing it into corners and up sides of pan; overhang will help in removal of baked brownies. Fit second sheet in pan in same manner, perpendicular to first sheet. Spray foil with nonstick cooking spray.


(I was a rebel and didn't fold the foil. It worked just fine. Save yourself a step.)

2. In medium heatproof bowl set over a pan of almost-simmering water, melt chocolates and butter, stirring occasionally until mixture is smooth. Whisk in cocoa until smooth. Set aside to cool slightly.



3. Whisk together eggs, sugar, vanilla, and salt in medium bowl until combined, about 15 seconds. Whisk warm chocolate mixture into egg mixture; then stir in flour with wooden spoon until just combined. Pour mixture into prepared pan, spread into corners, and level surface with rubber spatula.




Bake until slightly puffed and toothpick inserted in center comes out with a small amount of sticky crumbs clinging to it, 35 to 40 minutes.




Cool on wire rack to room temperature, about 2 hours, then remove brownies from pan using foil handles. Cut into 1-inch squares and serve. (Do not cut brownies until ready to serve; brownies can be wrapped in plastic and refrigerated up to 5 days.)

Almost Salted Caramel Brownies

I am not a brownie person. It is simply not my dessert of choice. However, I was intrigued by this recipe on the Pioneer Woman's blog. When Stalena said that she loves brownies I thought it was the perfect excuse to try the recipe. I titled this the Almost Salted Caramel Brownie because I didn't end up attempting the caramel part. Frankly, I was tired of being in the kitchen, I didn't have all the ingredients, and since I'm not passionate about brownies I wasn't as driven. However, she (the PW) even mentions using purchased caramel, so I'm not a complete heathen. So, let's bake, shall we?



6 ounces, weight Unsweetened Chocolate, Chopped
¾ cups Unsalted Butter, Cut Into Pieces
2 cups Sugar
3 whole Eggs
1 cup All-purpose Flour

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Grease a 9-by-13-inch pan with butter or baking spray. Cut your chocolate into pieces. (The PW has a link on her page about a comparison to see if there's a difference in baking chocolates. The Baker's Chocolate didn't fair well. I hadn't read this before my last two chocolate recipes- the brownies and previous cupcakes. I think that may be part of my ambivalence towards them. I liked the baked fudge with cocoa powder better.)

In the top of a double boiler over medium heat, melt chocolate and butter, stirring until melted.




Of course, if you don't have a double boiler, you can use a glass bowl over a saucepan of boiling water. The chocolate and butter are actually in a glass bowl here, not just sitting on the counter.



Don't walk away. It doesn't take long for the butter and chocolate to melt. Soon you'll have this...




Add sugar and stir gently until combined. Remove from heat.
In a separate bowl, gently whisk the eggs. Add a small splash of eggs to chocolate mixture, stirring immediately (but still gently). Drizzle in the rest of the eggs, stirring constantly.
Add flour and stir until combined. Pour batter into greased baking pan and spread to even out the surface.
Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, then remove from oven to cool completely in the pan.

We had caramel on hand, so I simply drizzled that on top of the brownie. It did compliment it nicely. I really think a different chocolate would have made a difference, so I'm going to skip Baker's chocolate in the future and see how the flavors compare. But the caramel really did help add some punch to the flavor, so feel free to use your Baker's chocolate. Just know that you may want to add a little something for additional flavor.

Chocolate Cupcakes with Sticky Chocolate Icing

Yesterday's recipe came from the Pioneer Woman. I decided to try her chocolate cupcakes. I made a slight variation to the recipe by omitting the Hershey kisses because I was choosing to use her sticky choclate icing. Since it seemed to be a richer icing I thought the Hershey kiss might be overkill. I'd like to try the ganache she has paired with the chocolate cupcakes, but the sticky icing required me to purchase less ingredients so it won for yesterday's test.

Cupcakes

2 cups Sugar
2 cups All-purpose Flour
1/4 teaspoons Salt
1/2 cups Buttermilk
2 whole Eggs
1 teaspoon Baking Soda
1 teaspoon Vanilla
2 sticks 1 Cup Butter
4 Tablespoons (heaping) Cocoa Powder
1 cup Water, Boiling

(If you don't have buttermilk on hand, you can measure a little less than 1/2 cup milk and top it off with white vinegar to make your own buttermilk. Since I have no regular use for buttermilk, this is what I generally do when I need it.)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray 18 muffin cups with baking spray. (My Baking Joy let me down yesterday which is why I generally prefer to use muffin liners)

To make the cake batter, combine flour, sugar, and salt. Set aside.
In a separate container, combine buttermilk, eggs, baking soda, and vanilla. Stir to combine and set aside.

In a saucepan, melt butter over medium heat. Add cocoa powder and stir to combine. Add boiling water, allow to bubble for a few seconds, then turn off heat.



Pour chocolate mixture over flour mixture. Stir a few times to cool the chocolate.





Pour buttermilk mixture over the top and stir to combine.



Pour 1/4 cup cake batter into each muffin cup.



Bake for 20 minutes. Allow to cool for 5 minutes in the pan, then remove cupcakes and allow to cool on a baking rack.



Sticky Chocolate Icing



3/4 cups Sweetened, Condensed Milk
6 ounces, weight Semi-sweet Chocolate
2 Tablespoons Butter

Mix ingredients together in a small/medium saucepan. Melt ingredients over medium low heat, stirring gently. Icing is ready when all ingredients are melted and combined.
Spoon warm icing over warm cupcakes, stirring icing to smooth after every third cupcake or so. Allow iced cupcakes to sit at least ten minutes before serving.






We had a jumper. Tragic, isn't it?

Want to know what's funny? I don't really like cake and I always seem to forget that when I get inspired to try a new cake recipe. The cupcakes and icing were good (my preference was the chocolate over the store-bought white), but they didn't blow my skirt up as the Pioneer Woman would say. Not because her recipe isn't good rather because I'm just not a cake person. So I can't fairly judge this recipe and I ended up sending all the cupcakes to school with Stalena for her fellow teachers. Oh well.

Baked Fudge

I have recently discovered The Pioneer Woman. Ree Drummond has a delightful website and cookbook full of great recipes, stories, and photographs. She's incredibly funny and I've spent a lot of time on her website. You should check her out (www.thepioneerwoman.com). I can wait here......see? Aren't you glad you looked at her site? It just makes you feel better. Today's recipe comes from her. Baked Fudge. Let's begin, shall we? I don't want to keep you from this recipe.

Baked Fudge (The Pioneer Woman)

1 stick butter (1/2 cup)
2 eggs
1 cup sugar
2 heaping Tablespoons cocoa powder
2 level Tablespoons flour
1 tsp vanilla



Preheat the oven to 300 degrees. If your oven doesn't get too hot, you can use 325. Melt 1 stick butter (1/2 cup) and set aside. Use an electric mixer to beat the 2 eggs until they are lighter in color. Since I don't have a stand mixer, I used my hand mixer. I know, it makes me sad too. Pour in 1 cup of sugar. Mix until thoroughly combined. Next, add 2 heaping tablespoons of cocoa powder followed by 2 level tablespoons of flour. Add 1 teaspoon of vanilla and your melted (but not too hot) butter. Mix on low-speed until well combined. Take a baking dish and fill about 1/2 way with water. Fill your ramekins evenly and place in the water. Bake for 40 minutes. When it's time to check them, use a toothpick. The top should be solid, but the toothpick should not come out clean. Ree warned that there's a trial and error process to this and she wasn't kidding. Make sure that the fudge doesn't jiggle when the ramekins are moved, but the inside shouldn't be a brownie consistency either. Mine (even after a few return visits to the oven) are still a bit thinner than I think they're supposed to be. However, they don't run off the spoon so I think we're fine for the first attempt. Ree made a heavy cream sauce for the top, but I don't have any on hand so I skipped that step. Now, let's look at the pictures so we can all enter a sugar coma together.



Please be very impressed by this action shot. I worked hard for it.